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Post by spanishlass on Dec 15, 2008 1:22:23 GMT 2
I live abroad, travel a lot, and through my work I meet people from different places. So I have had a few chances of putting my foot in it, culturally speaking- And is it embarrasing when it happens... So enlighten me folks- how acceptable are the following things in your country? Shaking hands when you meet> The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Kissing people on one or both cheeks when you meet>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Calling people by their first names after you have just been introduced>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Emotional outburst (ie, crying, or having a swearing rant) in public>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Complaining about something in a restaurant> The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Discreetly jumping the queue if you think no one will notice> The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Public display of affection... of different degrees > The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Starting a conversation with the person sitting next to you during a train or bus journey>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Splitting the check at a bar or restaurant> The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Buying rounds in a bar>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? "Hitting on" someone you do not know (like trying to flirt with someone in a bar)>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? A girl asking a guy out>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude?
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Post by DaveTheRake on Dec 15, 2008 17:21:36 GMT 2
buff chica, though this thread is quite interesting and for sure, something everyone of us has wonder, I think it's quite tricky to answer... it depends I think on the people. There's always some rule but being a Spanish you know that the rule is kissing on both cheeks when you are introduced but... how many times have you felt the other person didn't want to be introduced this way? It happened to me quite a few, ¡y eso que no soy tan cayo, joder!
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Ǽcen
Eagle
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Post by Ǽcen on Dec 16, 2008 5:36:41 GMT 2
Very generalized, of course, but maybe a basic idea. Shaking hands when you meet> Expected, and it should be firm (on the border of painful) if you're a guy, and light and pleasant for ladies Kissing people on one or both cheeks when you meet> That's a gamble. Some might recognize the cultural differences between nations while others may kick you in the teeth and call you a homo. Just stick to the handshake. Calling people by their first names after you have just been introduced> It's usually ok, if you're on an equal plane of authority Emotional outburst (ie, crying, or having a swearing rant) in public> Only with those you know, and not in public Complaining about something in a restaurant> Say something quietly and ask for the manager, but don't make a scene Discreetly jumping the queue if you think no one will notice> People can get violent if the event you're waiting for is big enough Public display of affection... of different degrees > Usually ok, but if you go all out in public, people will think you're showing off Starting a conversation with the person sitting next to you during a train or bus journey> Awkward and sometimes comes off as predatory; most American public transit is silent by custom. Splitting the check at a bar or restaurant> Depends on the people in question, but usually ok. Buying rounds in a bar> Depends on the bar... in any case, you'd better have a good reason. "Hitting on" someone you do not know (like trying to flirt with someone in a bar)>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Usually ok if there's a drink or two on both ends A girl asking a guy out>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Usually not. Girls like to give lots of hints and expect the guy to act.
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Post by strujka on Dec 17, 2008 2:29:08 GMT 2
In Bulgaria: Shaking hands when you meet --> The rule ( + adding a polite " It is nice to meet you" at the end) Kissing people on the cheecks --> If you're meeting your girl friends, you kiss them on the lips :] If it's for guys, the handshake will do it (+ sometimes a hug and a tap on the bag, depending on their relationship), or just "Hey, what's up". Calling people by their first name --> Usually acceptable, depending on age difference and level of authority. Emotional outbirst --> Well ... it sometimes happens to hear someone swearing in public. It is usually looked upon as rude :] You do that in front of friends ;] Complaining about something in a restaurant --> Depends on the restaurant. If it a good one, they shouldn'd make you any problems, and you should complain politely. If it's not such a good restaurant, they might become quite rude to you (once I was treatened by the waiter, because I was sending him back and forth to bring me stuff that should ordinarely come together ) Jumping the queue --> Oh wow, don't even think about it! You'll be (at least) verbally torn apart. :] Public display of affection --> Well, I've noticed old people have problems with that :] .... But usually it wouldn't be such a sensation. Starting a conversation --> Of course, otherwise it'll be quite a boring journey. You should just be carefull for the age difference and the topics for conversation :] Splitting the check --> If you're out with your friends - always, unless someone has invited you on a special ocasion. If you're a guy and you're dating a girl - it's usually expexted that you pay the bill ;] Buying rounds in a bar --> Depends on the bar. Usually noone cares as long as you don't make scenes :] "Hitting" on someone you don't know --> Well ... it depends on the person that you've hitted on. :] And the place, of course. If you do it politely, not looking as a phycopath, it should be ok. A girk asking a guy out --> Generally acceptable :] Why not? It's fun
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Post by bungdeetle on Dec 26, 2008 10:10:01 GMT 2
Australia: Shaking hands when you meet> Many people do it out of respect, but it's not obligatory. I only do it if someone extends their hand first. Kissing people on one or both cheeks when you meet> Not a part of Australian culture. If someone does it it will feel slightly weird but we will recognise it as part of some other culture so we won't make a big deal out of it. With that said, it is often a way in which close female friends greet eachother. Calling people by their first names after you have just been introduced> Pretty much the rule. It would be too formal to address someone as Mr/Mrs _____ face to face. Emotional outburst (ie, crying, or having a swearing rant) in public> Generally not acceptable, unless there's a very understandable reason why you're doing it. Otherwise, people will probably just assume you're crazy. Complaining about something in a restaurant> It's ok if you do it politely. Discreetly jumping the queue if you think no one will notice> Generally rude. Some will take you up on it, some won't care, some will just call you a prick under their breath. Public display of affection... of different degrees> Just some regular ol' kisses is fine, but anything more and people will probably feel awkward around you. Starting a conversation with the person sitting next to you during a train or bus journey> What Ǽcen said. People will put up with it if it's clear that you just want make conversation and pass the time, though. This is just my experience in Sydney, though. Other places will be more friendly. Splitting the check at a bar or restaurant> Fine, unless someone has made it clear that they will pay beforehand. Buying rounds in a bar> I'm not into the whole drinking thing, but I'm going to guess it's welcomed. Ask aussieklaani. "Hitting on" someone you do not know (like trying to flirt with someone in a bar)> Unless you're in a place designed for social butterflies/horny/lonely people to meet eachother, is it ever appropriate, in any country? A girl asking a guy out> The guy would probably be pleasantly surprised. (Or horrified, depending on how it comes off.)
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Ravion
Wolfcub
Personal .txt
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Post by Ravion on Dec 29, 2008 11:48:06 GMT 2
Croatia: Shaking hands when you meet - The rule, like in most of the world, I think... Most of the times accompanied with a smile Kissing people on one or both cheeks when you meet - Mostly reserved for close friends. Calling people by their first names after you have just been introduced - Depending of the way of introduction. Mostly acceptable, but not when introduced through formal ways (aka for business) Emotional outburst (ie, crying, or having a swearing rant) in public - (this is the sad part) No one cares. Complaining about something in a restaurant - Generally acceptable, but rarely you have opportunity to do so... Except if someone brings tons of kids (who by default run around the tables). Seriously, I had little quarrel about the serving etc, but if something happens, you shouldn't restrain from complaining. Discreetly jumping the queue if you think no one will notice - This one REALLY depends on the situation... Mostly people get annoyed by that and start talking behind your back loudly when you do it, but if you provide a good enough reason why should you be let through, 90% that you will be pushed forward in queue rather than have to jump it. Public display of affection... of different degrees - Up to a certain point rule, after that, moving quickly towards rude. Point differs with place done. Starting a conversation with the person sitting next to you during a train or bus journey - With retired and older people rule, the younger - the worse to start conversation with. Splitting the check at a bar or restaurant - We usually split checks, yes (or take turns on paying - round after round), but if someone once stresses that he's gonna pay, don't fight it. Then it's considered rude. If you really want to hand out some money, order another round and point out that it's on you. Buying rounds in a bar - See above, Didn't read all the questions first. "Hitting on" someone you do not know (like trying to flirt with someone in a bar) - Depending on the 'target'. There's no way you can tell how will it end. Usually, when you start it, you draw attention of the most of the bar and are the momentary source of amusement for the crowds. A girl asking a guy out - Acceptable, although rare.
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Post by Helevorn on Jan 2, 2009 14:58:33 GMT 2
Northern Italy: Shaking hands when you meet> It's generally the rule, it's also better to give him/her a true smile^^ Kissing people on one or both cheeks when you meet> It's generally acceptable, but not every person likes it.. personally i never kiss other people's cheeks but it's common to receive kisses from guys you meet for the first time Calling people by their first names after you have just been introduced> Again, this changes from person to person.. but here it's generally frowned upon, you call only your friends by their first names Emotional outburst (ie, crying, or having a swearing rant) in public> You know, when you have to cry you can't stop it but we tend to "hide" our emotions, and not only in public.. Complaining about something in a restaurant> I personally hate people who complain about something and bothering people around them.. it's not acceptable that in a restaurant someone starts to shout Discreetly jumping the queue if you think no one will notice> Extremely rude. We're people, not animals! (like Dante said ) Public display of affection... of different degrees > It's usually ok Starting a conversation with the person sitting next to you during a train or bus journey> Even this is usually ok, I do it many times, but there is plenty of guys who don't like to talk to strangers Splitting the check at a bar or restaurant> OK, if you're dating a girl you have absolutely to pay! .. if you're hanging out with friends, the person who pays for everyone is seen as someone soooo generous, and it's usually followed by 20 minutes of "thaaaank you!"s Buying rounds in a bar> I think that "rounds" exist only in english-speaking countries, i've never seen someone buying a round in an italian bar "Hitting on" someone you do not know (like trying to flirt with someone in a bar)> If you do it politely, and if you're in the right place, why not^^ A girl asking a guy out> It happens many times btw, i wrote only about northern italy (that is, from the alps to tuscany).. in southern (and most central) italy, customs are very different and i can't talk for them
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Post by spanishlass on Jan 7, 2009 17:13:03 GMT 2
Hey, thanks a lot! It must make me sound like a nerd, but Im really interested in this type of thing. As for my case, I can give you my two cents, in Spain and Scotland Shaking hands when you meet: In Scotland that is the rule, in Spain too, specially if you would not give them two kisses (see below) Kissing people on one or both cheeks when you meet: Still quite rare in Scotland, in Spain women tend to do the "kiss both cheeks" thing starting from their right, when greeting male or female friends. Some of my British friends have now got used to this, but they only give me the one kiss- So I look like a bit of a muppet kissing the empty air a second time, like this New Year's Eve. Calling people by their first names after you have just been introduced: God bless English for not having a "formal" and an "informal" form. Unless I am teaching a secondary class, in the UK everyone calls me by my first name, and I do the same. In Spain, unless it is a very formal situation, first names all the way. Emotional outburst (ie, crying, or having a swearing rant) in public: Quite unacceptable in both countries (you want to look the other way). Complaining about something in a restaurant: The British hate that and if not satisfied, often lie through their teeth when their server asks them "is everything OK?". Complaining is not normally done. But in Spain, if it is done politely, and you have grounds for it... Discreetly jumping the queue if you think no one will notice: I don't see it in the UK. But in Spain, while not appreciated, happens far more often. I was relieved to see train stations have started to print "your turn" tickets to stablish who is first at the counter. Public display of affection... of different degrees : My Scottish boyfriends all agreed on this, none liked it. In Spain, on the other hand, seems more acceptable, specially among teenagers... So much so that when you walk through a park you feel like shouting, "get a room!" Starting a conversation with the person sitting next to you during a train or bus journey: There is a type of British person (the old dear) who loooves that. Younger people, not so much. Public transport in Spain tends to be quiet, but funnily enough, when we go into a more confined space (such as sharing a lift ride with a neighbour or someone working in the same office) it is customary to say hi and talk... even if you say absolutely nothing. Splitting the check at a bar or restaurant: Every time that I have tried to split the check on a date in the Uk, I got odd looks... While I normally did it in Spain. When out with a group of friends, it is different. The bill is normally divided equally among the guests in both countries. This is specially practical in the UK because many places allow you to bring your own beer or wine, which is normally the most expensive thing in the menu. Buying rounds in a bar: I agree with the Italians, it is a UK thing mostly. I often end up spending far more money and drinking much more than I expected to with this way... The "kitty" system, where you put money up front at the beginning of the night, or each buying their own drink (both of which are common in Spain) suit me better. Hitting on someone you do not know (like trying to flirt with someone in a bar): I have seen it in the UK and in Spain, specially after a few drinks. But I am not a fan as I am too shy! A girl asking a guy out: Well gentlemen, your say, but many guys feel uneasy about that, regardless of where they are from. ;D
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Post by aussieklaani on Jan 23, 2009 2:29:54 GMT 2
Australia: Shaking hands when you meet> Many people do it out of respect, but it's not obligatory. I only do it if someone extends their hand first. Kissing people on one or both cheeks when you meet> Not a part of Australian culture. If someone does it it will feel slightly weird but we will recognise it as part of some other culture so we won't make a big deal out of it. With that said, it is often a way in which close female friends greet eachother. Calling people by their first names after you have just been introduced> Pretty much the rule. It would be too formal to address someone as Mr/Mrs _____ face to face. Emotional outburst (ie, crying, or having a swearing rant) in public> Generally not acceptable, unless there's a very understandable reason why you're doing it. Otherwise, people will probably just assume you're crazy. Complaining about something in a restaurant> It's ok if you do it politely. Discreetly jumping the queue if you think no one will notice> Generally rude. Some will take you up on it, some won't care, some will just call you a prick under their breath. Public display of affection... of different degrees> Just some regular ol' kisses is fine, but anything more and people will probably feel awkward around you. Starting a conversation with the person sitting next to you during a train or bus journey> What Ǽcen said. People will put up with it if it's clear that you just want make conversation and pass the time, though. This is just my experience in Sydney, though. Other places will be more friendly. Splitting the check at a bar or restaurant> Fine, unless someone has made it clear that they will pay beforehand. Buying rounds in a bar> I'm not into the whole drinking thing, but I'm going to guess it's welcomed. Ask aussieklaani. "Hitting on" someone you do not know (like trying to flirt with someone in a bar)> Unless you're in a place designed for social butterflies/horny/lonely people to meet eachother, is it ever appropriate, in any country? A girl asking a guy out> The guy would probably be pleasantly surprised. (Or horrified, depending on how it comes off.) Agree with all that Bungdeetle, Shaking hands is very important here in South Aus, It is seen rude not to do it. The kisisng on the cheeks, If I didn't know them, I probably react with a right cross... Buying rounds is being phased out, too many tight @rse drinkers leaving when it's their turn...At a sit down meal this is customary though. A girl in Sydney will never ask a guy out, In Adelaide this is VERY common....I have lived in both states for quite a while.
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pet0r
Wolfcub
Forest Defender
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Post by pet0r on Jan 27, 2009 3:50:27 GMT 2
Hi, I'm from Australia, most people are fairly easy going about this stuff.
Shaking hands when you meet: Pretty much always
Kissing people on one or both cheeks when you meet: Doesn't happen very often, only between really good friends
Calling people by their first names after you have just been introduced: Very normal, except for business
Emotional outburst (ie, crying, or having a swearing rant) in public: Many people try to avoid crying in public, but swearing and ranting is pretty common
Complaining about something in a restaurant: Normal amongst friends, but usually people are polite to the staff, unless its something really serious
Discreetly jumping the queue if you think no one will notice: Not normally done in public, common at barbecues, school, and amongst friends though
Public display of affection... of different degrees: Varies couple to couple, but its pretty usual to see people kissing in public
Starting a conversation with the person sitting next to you during a train or bus journey: Most people are quiet, more common on long journeys e.g. interstate
Splitting the check at a bar or restaurant: Usually agreed to beforehand, most people will pay for their own food though... except for someones birthday or something like that
Buying rounds in a bar: Sometimes at the start of the night, but people usually end up looking after themselves
Hitting on someone you do not know (like trying to flirt with someone in a bar): Pretty common, but you can't be too forward or sleazy.
A girl asking a guy out: It doesn't matter..
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Post by pivopijasrbija87 on Feb 7, 2009 19:58:23 GMT 2
Hey, I'm from Bosnia&Herzegovina, and although the consequences of war can still be felt, it's a nice place to live and to visit, too. Despite the fact that there are three different nations, Serbs, Croats and Muslims, (with different tradition, different view of the turbulent history of this region) mentality is pretty much the same. Now I'll tell you a few things about my (Serbian) people. What's very specific is kissing three times in the cheeks when you see someone you haven't seen for a while, or when you want to wish someone a happy new year or birthday, wedding, or when receiving an award or medal... People here also like to visit each other without announcing their arrival earlier, some may even be slightly offended if they receive the announcement earlier, meaning "you shouldn't be letting me know, you are always welcome". So, every house has a stash of homemade brandy (rakia ), in case someone drops by. At weddings there can be several hundred people, of which you know only about a third , but they are all welcome and treated the same. At funerals also. Public behaviour: You greet people who you are close to with a handshake, (or kissing once in a cheek if they're women, but it can be a handshake too, depending on how well you know them), or just saying "hi" if you've made contact with the person earlier but you haven't actually got acquainted. The rest is like in most of the countries.. But what we are especially famous for is buying rounds at bars. When meeting someone, we always try to have enough money at least for a round, but it's not obligatory of course. Especially when someone receives paycheck - on some occasions people easily spend their entire earnings in buying rounds to everyone the whole night, even to the people they see for the first time:). It happens all the time that the other side can even get offended (not so serious, more like a joke) if you want to pay for what you've drank/eaten. We're very sociable you know . Really, this people is amazing, despite the constant struggle to enable yourself decent living and the sky-high unemployment rates, the bars are full all the time, regardless of the day...No matter the crisis everyone can wiggle out same money for a shot or two . And despite the problems we have, most people are quite satisfied, thinking it can always be worse, and it was worse some time ago. All this can be applied to Serbia too, because we are one nation living in two states. I would recommend you to come to the Exit festival this year, or the Trumpets' festival in Gucha, Serbia, I promise you'll be having the best time of your life! Especially in Gucha. cheers!
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Post by spanishlass on Feb 13, 2009 0:13:49 GMT 2
pivopijasrbija87, duuuude!!!!!
inviting several hundred people for a wedding? That gives me the shivers. I am planning mine and the British tradition is to invite lots of extended family and serve a modest menu (so my man's mum and gran have gone all invitation happy and landed us with lots of old bats we have never seen or even heard of) and in the UK everyone buys their drinks. Gifts are very modest too (arond the £30/40 mark)
In Spain in the other hand you restrict your guest list and entertain VERY lavishly (giving average or everyday food is guaranteed to get people very angry) and pay for every guest's drinks, all through the night. Average guest's gift to the couple: €200.
So I am at my wit's end- I have nightmares of people coming, expecting Spanish hospitality, gifting like British and expecting me to invite everyone and their aunty Mavis. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!
Eloping and getting married in secret begins to sound like a very reasonable option.
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Post by pivopijasrbija87 on Feb 13, 2009 18:42:40 GMT 2
hehe...imagine this:
traditional Serbian wedding party taking place in some village.. This is a pretty big one but on all occasions there are at least 200 guests. And food...man, no matter how much you eat, there's always more.. There's pork, lamb and beef also, sarma (i explained what it is in "food and recipes"), pies filled with grind meat, cheese, potatoes, cookies.. all that with gallons of wine, beer, and homemade brandy..
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Post by strujka on Feb 16, 2009 20:10:39 GMT 2
Mmm ... Rakia!
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Post by ebach on Feb 18, 2009 17:51:36 GMT 2
Shaking hands when you meet> The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? The rule; no doubt. Kissing people on one or both cheeks when you meet>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Generally not acceptable. Most Americans will generally label you as European, a high class snob, or gay if you do this. Calling people by their first names after you have just been introduced>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Generally acceptable Emotional outburst (ie, crying, or having a swearing rant) in public>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Frowned upon Complaining about something in a restaurant> The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Generally acceptable as long as you don't loose your cool Discreetly jumping the queue if you think no one will notice> The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Rude Public display of affection... of different degrees > The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Generally acceptable unfortunetly Starting a conversation with the person sitting next to you during a train or bus journey>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? The rule. It's considered rude if you don't Splitting the check at a bar or restaurant> The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Generally acceptable But then of course there are those who insist that THEY will take care of the check themselves and won't take no for an answer. This can easily turn into 15 minutes of arguing -.- Buying rounds in a bar>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Generally acceptable I suppose "Hitting on" someone you do not know (like trying to flirt with someone in a bar)>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Rude. A girl asking a guy out>The rule, generally acceptable, generally not acceptable, frowned upon, rude? Generally acceptable(although most would prefer the guy to ask the girl first) And that's how it's done in America.
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