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Post by DaveTheRake on Mar 7, 2005 16:51:15 GMT 2
Platonic! Good name ;D
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Post by DaveTheRake on Mar 8, 2005 10:54:51 GMT 2
Well, there's nothing new on the front line. Anyway I'd like this thread not to stop when there's no movement around my affairs.
There's one thing that calls my attention, and it's how differently we see these kind of themes depending on where are we born. You see nothing wrong on a boy asking a girld to go out, but I always think that it has an implicit message, as I told you the other day. Is funny how different we see things according to our culture, even though we all are western cultured!
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Post by illumina on Mar 8, 2005 14:23:30 GMT 2
An implicit message? What message? That you like her? Well yeah, of course. But whether it means you like her as a friend, or as something more, that's a little more tricky. Personally, I still like to believe that men and women can be friends, so it would be nice not to have to think 'now, is he trying to get in my knickers' every time a guy talks to me.
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Post by MaliceGarden on Mar 8, 2005 22:24:11 GMT 2
if she's nothing special, suppose they can. :]
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Post by DaveTheRake on Mar 9, 2005 10:58:53 GMT 2
Well, that of friendship... it's true, of course, but I think it has some slight nuances. As Malice has said, if they're nothing special to each other they can be. Ok, a friend is someone special, but you know what I'm referring to. I'm too much idealistic, and I've always thought that my girlfriend should be, first of all, my best friend... well, at least in my experience it never happened. I tried hard, but it's impossible, when there's love, friendship seems to be hidden under a mask of bearing the other person. You normally tell a friend every problem you've got, and if the problem is with him/her, and is a big one, you are not bound to that person in any way; but with a couple things are much more complicated; you love that person, and there's some things you can't tell her/him. It's sad, but it's true; I'm happy if those of you who have a partner are able to do this, but I was unable And about the point that asking a girl to have a coffee doesn't has implied a hidden message, well, it's true what you say Ilumina... maybe I must change my perception of these kind of things; maybe if I wouldn't think in this way I'd find it easy just to ask Bea to take a coffee instead of wondering and wondering without reaching any satisfactorial solution
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Post by Humppaporo on Mar 9, 2005 11:33:43 GMT 2
You said some very wise things there. I agree with you that it is very hard to find someone you can tell everything to. But, you don't do that with your friends either, some very close friends know a lot about you and you can tell them almost everything, but mostly you'll divide your personal things over more people. The problem with lovers and very close friends is that you do not want to lose them, or hurt them, and therefore you will be more careful about what you tell them and how. I think that it is very important to share your thoughts and problems with the one you love, if you don't you will drift away from each other. But you always should be careful how you bring things up. I don’t think it is necessary to share literally everything, but the important things you should, imho. I think that you are a very extroverted and warm-hearted person, and your girlfriend should be the same, if she isn’t able to feel as deeply as you do, you will get frustrated and on the long run, it won’t last. Try and ask her for some coffee or something small like that, maybe she will be surprised and accept. I don’t think these things will ever be easy, there’s too much at stake for you. Don’t you ever see her outside the library? You don’t share college, train, concerts, a.s.o.? Might be easier to get closer to her in that way. All the luck to you!
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Post by DaveTheRake on Mar 9, 2005 12:46:37 GMT 2
Buff, outside library it's impossible; she lives one km from library, I live 30 kms southwards. About college, the problem is that though we're on the same college, we're not at the same faculty, and her faculty (which is where I work) is in a different campus than mine. THe one who has seen her the last two mornings has been my mate; they even has been talking a while 'cos Bea needed a lighter and my mate had one; she has said "hmm, David has taken it I think" while pretending she doesn't find it. So she has to come at 13.30 to give my mate the lighter back... I'll be here of course ;D. I suspected she smoked, and it's something I don't like at all, although I of course wouldn't deny her for that reason. Anyway I don't know why but after that on friday, when she didn't salute, I feel as if she's trying to avoid seeing me. Well, not that, is as if I were sure she didn't want anything. Back to the other topic, I maybe would like to be with my hypothetical future partner as I'm with my friends; we always say anything to everyone of us, and sometimes we have big arguments, but we still love us other. Maybe if we all took that to the partner relationship side, maybe we all would be happy; but I'm concerned that this relationship Ive got with my friends is one among a million. It's not an idillic one either, but we've found the balance at least. Oh, one thing that has called my attention strongly from what you've said, Humppa, that about me being an extroverted guy... not at all, I promise. I'm a guy who suffers if he's got to ask about something at a store, who is unable to go to the bathroom when at other's home, of course fidn it very hard to speak in public, and taliing with an unknown girl in a pub... well, we better don't touch it But when I feel in a warm and safe sourround, as on the internet, or in a reduced circle, it's where I show my best self. It's funy how your perception could change if you knew me face to face ;D
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Post by MaliceGarden on Mar 9, 2005 13:33:23 GMT 2
dave: you misunderstood me! you should know i was referring to the girls appearance! thats an insult to my shalowness! girls with more than 25% of my perfection are eligible to be more than friends. i know, i know its a pretty high percentage, but a guy has to have some standards.
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Post by Humppaporo on Mar 9, 2005 16:41:45 GMT 2
Oh, one thing that has called my attention strongly from what you've said, Humppa, that about me being an extroverted guy... not at all, I promise. I'm a guy who suffers if he's got to ask about something at a store, who is unable to go to the bathroom when at other's home, of course fidn it very hard to speak in public, and taliing with an unknown girl in a pub... well, we better don't touch it But when I feel in a warm and safe sourround, as on the internet, or in a reduced circle, it's where I show my best self. It's funy how your perception could change if you knew me face to face ;D That's not exactly what I mean with extroverted, I mean that you are not afraid to express your feelings, hopes, and your true self, at least here on the board and if I understood it correctly, also with your friends. Lots of people never dare to do so, I think it is special and courageous. What you just said is what I call: Shy (do you know the song 'Shy' by Sonata Arctica, listen to the lyrics, it seems to be written for you, if you do not have it, I will send it to you). Nothing wrong with shy, most people are more or less shy.
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Post by DaveTheRake on Mar 10, 2005 11:52:03 GMT 2
That's not exactly what I mean with extroverted, I mean that you are not afraid to express your feelings, hopes, and your true self, at least here on the board and if I understood it correctly, also with your friends. Lots of people never dare to do so, I think it is special and courageous. What you just said is what I call: Shy (do you know the song 'Shy' by Sonata Arctica, listen to the lyrics, it seems to be written for you, if you do not have it, I will send it to you). Nothing wrong with shy, most people are more or less shy. If we take it in that way, yeah, I'm extroverted! I've never thought it that way, and well, you're right. About the song, I've never heard Sonata Artica, send me the lyric if you can, please, thank you very much!!!!! Well, now... herrrr, it seems that everything has collapsed with Bea. I'm not going to pay attention on her (as long as I'm able to do it). Is not that I've changed my mind about her, it's just that it' clear she doesn't care a shit about me. If you are seated on the desk, a person comes in front of you and doesn't looks at you is clear that you don't care this person at all. Is what she did yesterday when she brought the lighter back to my mate. Is not that she may be shy or whatever... I don't know how to explain, but she really was trying to pay me no attention at all! I've had the feelling already, but yesterday was like a kind of confirmation. It's sad but well, I can't do anything; if she doesn't like me or whatever it's right for her. Personally speaking, I find it worse to be so accustomed to this kind of situation; it's been so many times like this, that I don't feel bad for the fact that a girl doesn't like me but for this kind of fucking cyclic situation which comes around one and again and again. What I hate most is just knowing exactly what I'm going to feel tomorrow, and knowing that in a couple of days I'll feel better and so on as if it were a fucking cold or a flu or something like that. Always the same... it's a bit jading. And also knowing that I feel this due to people who surely doesn't worths it. Anyway, as I said the other day, I don't want this thread to stop here, you've tried to help me, and the same could take place with anybody else. And let me say you've helped me veeeeery much, and I'm veeeery thankful to you for it!!!
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Post by CrazyMary on May 22, 2005 15:37:32 GMT 2
This seems like a good thread. Does anyone have a love story they want to tell?
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Post by MaliceGarden on May 22, 2005 16:27:21 GMT 2
i like to share my bed with my sleeping bed. :]
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Post by Humppaporo on May 24, 2005 9:26:03 GMT 2
dave: Far, far away, where the birch wouldn't grow Far, far away and where the wind freezes your face There you won't be alone So far away, My mind flies to the moon Far, far away, I can see what happens soon And what's most important .... (little alteration required! )
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Post by DaveTheRake on May 24, 2005 9:46:44 GMT 2
Jaja, well, yes, maybe it should be required a little alteration... though perfection must not be altered
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