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Post by DaveTheRake on Jan 23, 2006 16:20:52 GMT 2
What a coincidence I read it two days ago in an email an old friend sent me... and it was in Spanish. Jokes travelling at speed of the web!!!!!
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Post by jarmo on Jan 24, 2006 18:31:22 GMT 2
I knew this one for years really, but with a slightly other story... but it's funny
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Post by MaliceGarden on Jan 25, 2006 23:37:45 GMT 2
pls dont kill because of the following joke. it was a guy who told it and thought it was really funny. if im not mistaken i've said it already. here it goes:
a goat goes along a road and sees a zebra drinking water. it goes to the zebra and says "Hey zebra, you drink a lot of water!", to which the zebra replied "look who's talking, the goat".
:/
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MoonDancer
Clansman
"Voices are calling from somewhere below"
Posts: 384
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Post by MoonDancer on Jan 25, 2006 23:56:48 GMT 2
Formula 1 McLaren has changed its service team since they had noticed last year that the young Hungarian gypsies can take down the tires in almost no time. At the beginning everything was OK. The gypsies changed the tires in 3 seconds and McLaren won the races. After a while things went wrong. The young gypsies still could change the tires in 3 seconds but a new problem occurred in the next 10 seconds: the gypsies repainted the cars, punched the product number and sold the car to Ferrari, including the driver, too.
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Post by teuton on Jan 26, 2006 18:21:00 GMT 2
Which is the only thing that is wrong in Germany?
That Schumacher does not drive a Mercedes.
Haha.
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Post by Crow on Jan 28, 2006 18:43:29 GMT 2
Mickey Mouse had hired a private I. After some time the private I reports back to Mickey; “There is no indication the Minnie Mouse is insane. On the moments she’s away she is not visiting a shrink or anything” Mickey almost explodes, and tells the private I; “I wasn’t asking about her mental state, all I wanted to know was if she was fucking Goofy?”
(one of the Americans we worked with this week(end) told us this joke)
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Post by jarmo on Jan 30, 2006 18:16:49 GMT 2
- Our relation has changed - Firstly, that's not true. Secondly, that is perfectly normal.
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Post by Crow on Feb 1, 2006 11:53:42 GMT 2
A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish. "The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want. " The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
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Post by Crow on Feb 1, 2006 13:33:13 GMT 2
At the immigrationoffice....
Q.: "Name?" A.: "Abdul Dalah Sarafi."
Q.: "Sex?" A.: "Four times a week."
Q.: "No, no, no... Male or female?" A.: "Male, female,... sometimes camel..."
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Post by swiatowit on Feb 1, 2006 13:39:29 GMT 2
Kind of RPG- joke:
It was in the church, on the mass for young people. Priest was telling the homily. Then he asked: "And what said Jozue to the Jews, when they entered the Land of Kannan?" Silent. Consternation. Someone, who stayed under back wall hesistantly said: "Not enough mana?"
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mmaartijn
Clansman
Northland Warrior, has no home to hide!
Posts: 394
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Post by mmaartijn on Feb 4, 2006 18:17:23 GMT 2
A man who is in the army has to go to Afghanistan for a military mission. After a few weeks he gets a letter from his girlfriend: Dear Dick, With this letter I want to tell you I want to break up. I never see you and I want love, so I've got 2 other men overhere, I'm sorry for that. Would you please send me my picture back, so this chapter is finished? With that he's not happy at all, but he's got a plan to make her not happy. He collacts all the pictures of the girlfriends from the other military men and sends her all those pictures with the next letter: Dear Dana, I've got your letter but I can't really remember who you are.... Could you please get your picture out of this ones and send the rest back? Thanks, Dick I like it
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Post by jarmo on Feb 7, 2006 23:37:31 GMT 2
lol, thats a good one ;D
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mmaartijn
Clansman
Northland Warrior, has no home to hide!
Posts: 394
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Post by mmaartijn on Feb 12, 2006 14:04:14 GMT 2
There was a farmer and he had two chicken: A black one and a dog
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Post by Heiðinn Hermaðr on Feb 12, 2006 20:21:12 GMT 2
There was a farmer and he had two chicken: A black one and a dog I didn't understand this one... ---- Crazy People TalkA doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red. The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself" Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?" --- I didn't get any money this time[/b] A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"
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mmaartijn
Clansman
Northland Warrior, has no home to hide!
Posts: 394
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Post by mmaartijn on Feb 13, 2006 18:47:01 GMT 2
There was a farmer and he had two chicken: A black one and a dog I didn't understand this one... ---- Crazy People TalkA doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red. The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself" Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?" --- I didn't get any money this time[/b] A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"[/quote] haha, your jokes are also funny But about the farmer, there's just no logical in it, it's just the nonsense that makes it funny, maybe you should tell it and not read it...it''s too stupid for words
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