Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2009 9:25:04 GMT 2
Tis old ,tis mine, tis let's say a sort of poem/confession. Twas wrote in my language, hope my translation is ok. Tis a compensation,as i was a bit more jesterish last night here in a great thread.. Tis so: ,The Storm is a part of me. My Thunder is joy. If I touched you with them, I didn't mean to hurt. If i devastated you, hope! From the fire's tiredness, always rebirths the longing for Rain! Let me crush the clouds from your eyes, let me wash the Elements of your mind..let me sit quietly on your heart's bed who knows to welcome my rest..only there I can find my heart.."
|
|
Crystiannia
Clansman
"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows..."
Posts: 384
|
Post by Crystiannia on Aug 12, 2009 7:55:15 GMT 2
WalkyriaTina! That is such visual eloquence!-- your words are like a painting! You can "see" each word in your mind. Quite beautiful verse!!!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2009 20:39:27 GMT 2
Kiitos... Tis rather a meteo poem ;D Check out a part of a new one ,see if visualising is present too: ,,(...)give me your fingers to burn this sunset, Hold my look deep into the heart, Frantically search my music hid deep into your soul, Kiss my dwelling thoughts that nested in your dreams, Embrace your wish and break the boundaries.. (...)"
|
|
|
Post by Bartbär on Aug 16, 2009 9:03:16 GMT 2
There is a new dilemma on the love front for me. Perhaps it is dangerous once again to type at such a late hour when I can barely keep my eyes open, but this is the only place I can go really to let off thoughts and frustrations without falling on negative responses. At least that doesn't involve parties mentioned.
Anyways, an old girlfriend of mine, and someone who for the longest time I had feelings for, but kept getting thrown to the side, has finally come around and wants to be with me. This is hard to deal with on so many fronts because my thoughts, and feelings, are all over the place. On one end it is very nice to hear what she has to say, and to hear that finally after so long of her kicking me aside for other men, she has finally come to her senses.
My dilemma is this: I've been there for her all the time since I've known her. We dated briefly "online" (if that is even possible) but we remained great friends and she always looked up to me as a source of wisdom and the occasional bit of advice. But I never really got much in return, not that I expected it, but I at least expected to hear from her without her needing my help. Sometimes when you play psychologist for all of your friends, it gets tiring ONLY hearing from them when they have a problem. In reality you just want to hear from them period, no matter what is going on, just to keep in contact with them and have a deep and meaningful conversation without drama. Anyways...
She says things that bring up a recurring conflict I have with women. She talks about how I understand her more than practically everyone else where she lives, and yet from such a great distance. How I can read her well, and know what is really going on, not just whatever fascade she parardes around with. And how she doesn't want to lose that.
Now this is hard to swallow because it's frustrating to solve. My biggest problem with women is (and has always been) that they tend to feel very connected with me because I "get them and understand them", but never does it seem to be the other way around. The hardest thing to deal with when you are a Chivalrous male in these days is not if there are any damsels that need saving, but if there are any damsels that DON'T need saving. We all have problems and baggage, but some of us do not know how to deal with that baggage: the latter is usually the ones I attract, haha.
I just don't know what to do. I am starting to have feelings come back again, but I don't know if it is real, or if it is just some nostalgic longing of wanting to be with her. I know I wanted to be with her then. My problem is trying to figure out if I would want to be with her now. And if I'm even ready for such a committed relationship after all the comfort I've felt with isolation.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2009 11:54:38 GMT 2
Ya know I'm a bad with advices, but supportive.. My opinion in short, younger friend ,is this: don't feed the dilemma that much with self consuming and tormenting...just give it time and clear thought on the whole thing. And read that pm i sent ya ;D
|
|
Crystiannia
Clansman
"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows..."
Posts: 384
|
Post by Crystiannia on Aug 16, 2009 18:23:04 GMT 2
My past history in this thread aside… It’s been my experience that once damsels (or some rogues, it works both ways!) find their rescuer; they tend to mistake that feeling of comfort and gratitude for love. And of course, the rescuer needs to be careful as well that they don’t mistake the compassion they feel for romance. It strokes ones ego something fierce to be “needed.” It’s also been my experience that rekindling old romances eventually remind you why they didn’t work in the first place. Problem is those things don’t always hold true; every so often a person will grow and sometimes love only needs a second chance. Just because the odds are not in favor doesn’t mean they are not possible. I would just dwell on these; Is she someone that will be there by your side to support you with everything going on? Will she make you laugh and take your mind somewhere else when life gets dark? When you look into her eyes do you see your own emotions reflecting back? Would you rather be up to 2am talking to her than typing at a keyboard? If your heart can honestly answer any of those happily, then maybe you need to step back into this one and see where it leads. Take it slow and have some fun with it. Just step back a little when she needs a therapist instead of a lover and force her to work out some things on her own. If she really desires you and not just a best friend who also happens to be a lover, she’ll understand. But if you’d rather be alone with your Tolkien than snuggled on the couch with her… Anwend, being chivalrous is a noble virtue, but there are times that you need to re-examine what it means and when it is needed. Don’t let it be an excuse for someone to abuse your good virtue. There is a quote I love that is going to sound very mean, but I think in certain contexts it can be necessary. When asked how he could be so cruel, the character replied that he was “A man who was born long before the age of chivalry.” Some women don’t deserve it and that’s the truth. As a woman who knows exactly what she wants now, I can bluntly say that I couldn’t be passionately in love with someone I only saw as a sounding board for my emotional breakdowns. Respect, compassion, understanding and “getting someone” are wonderful things, but I think they should come second to passion, desire, and connection. All things between lovers (emotionally or physically speaking) should be equal; from the ecstasy to the tears. Is that not what grows friendship into desire? That it is a greater, more mutual feeling that has blossomed? Otherwise, without those other emotions, isn’t it just friendship? Which isn’t a terrible thing depending on where you want the relationship to go. Don’t dwell too long on this our dear modern Galahad! While it saddens me that you feel so, you need to see that you are young and beautiful still – you should be enjoying love and not letting it get the best of you! Lest you end up with a fate similar to that of Elaine of Astolat. I know... far easier said then done, especially with us romantic types. Love should be more fun than infuriating though. Then, I also think the notion of being carried off in a Viking raid is more fun and romantic than courtly love and flowers so perhaps my thoughts are warped to begin with! ;D Best wishes dear one!
|
|
|
Post by Bartbär on Aug 16, 2009 19:27:41 GMT 2
Haha, to me Love has always been far more infuriating then fun. Or perhaps I have yet to feel any true Love, or perhaps true Love is infuriating... Meditations are in order for these concepts, haha, but one can only meditate so long before an experience is required of them. I agree with you completely on those concepts. Simply because one has a history with someone does not mean it is healthy nor meant to be continued on. But sometimes this logic is hard to seep into the human emotion that one feels in such situations. Naturally any of us can find back an old lover, and no matter how it ended or why it ended in the first place we will find those emotions and thoughts rushing back until eventually it is hard to know where your true thoughts lie. In regards to the Tolkien reference, perhaps that is not a far weight to measure, afterall I would probably rather snuggle up with one of Tolkien's books than with any woman, haha. No offense to the women, but there is a certain comfort of knowing that one will never hurt you and only yield great results, whereas the other is an unknown path of which you are not sure the destination has any real worth. I agree as well that not every woman is deserving of Chivalry, that is for certain. But my knighthood makes me feel the need to give every woman the benefit of the doubt. My problem lies in when I should stop giving them the benefit of the doubt... If she is truly changed and truly a better person and can say beyond all measure that she has made it past her childish and immature ways, than perhaps it can be worth something. I don't know if it is worth a lifetime or even a half lifetime worth of relationship, and that is my problem. I always measure relationships in how long I feel I could be with that person. Are they someone I can see myself loving forever and being with 24/7 without getting annoyed beyond any natural measure, or are they someone I can only partake in for a short time. I always prefer the former to the latter, and this is the measure I end up holding to every one I become involved with. If I feel I cannot be with them forever hypothetically, then I wonder if I should be with them at all. I tend to want to get straight to the destination without enjoying the getting there. But perhaps that is because I've spent so much time already in faulty relationships and faulty friendships that I'm tired of the getting there part. Perhaps I should just sit back and enjoy the dedication of someone who actually wishes to be a part of my life. Or perhaps I should continue reaping the benefits of isolation and the trustworthiness of silence. Thanks Tina and Crystiannia, I really appreciate your words. Lastly, it is hard to cast aside the feelings I have for other women, the one in particular, for just one woman of whom I'm not even sure about. Even if right now there may be no chance with that woman, I can't help but still think about her. Besides, she has yet to hurt me or to squander away from me. But then again it is unwise to wait on something that may not happen, perhaps it is wiser to, for a change at least, put trust in something that you see as happening.
|
|
Crystiannia
Clansman
"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows..."
Posts: 384
|
Post by Crystiannia on Aug 16, 2009 21:33:46 GMT 2
In regards to the Tolkien reference, perhaps that is not a far weight to measure, afterall I would probably rather snuggle up with one of Tolkien's books than with any woman.... Yeah... then you DEFINATELY haven't found the right girl! ;D Not only will you prefer her over your texts, you'll forget what page you were on and eventually forget which book you were reading in the first place when she walks in! She will be a book unto herself which you will prefer studying over any other and the best part is, if the chapters remain interesting enough, the story will never end. With the right one there will be excerpts of fantastic adventure, unbearable heartaches, calm lulls and scenes not permissable in an all ages forum! The cool touch of a tomes pages do not equal the warm touch of living flesh. You'll see..... ;D
|
|
|
Post by Bartbär on Aug 16, 2009 23:07:19 GMT 2
Well, it is hard to tell when there is virtually no physical contact on my end. So to me books are always better, because books have always been here, and will always be here. They do not come and go and leave you in despair. Perhaps if she came here and I got to see her in person, things would be different and I could feel more if things could work. I guess on that I will have to wait and see...
|
|
Kirki
Eagle
Juominen on hyv?ksi sinulle!
Posts: 191
|
Post by Kirki on Aug 18, 2009 0:22:08 GMT 2
Oh perkele! I was at that girl's house for about 12 hours today filming more of the sitcom. When we finished filming, me, her sisters and one of our friends were out on the trmapoline for hours singing an bouncing, then we came in ot eat and I found out they have a TV audition tomorrow with them playing acapella songs. They rehearsed in front of me and it was SO divine. It was rather epic. I am completely in awe If only she were not so busy at the moment with music and editing of the film footage. And I am going ot University in October. I don't want to leave her though : (
|
|
Crystiannia
Clansman
"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows..."
Posts: 384
|
Post by Crystiannia on Aug 19, 2009 2:31:13 GMT 2
And I am going ot University in October. I don't want to leave her though : ( Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Or was that absinthe?? Absinthe makes the heart grow...stranger? But perhaps something else at University will capture your interest (or heart?)! Might be the start of an all new adventure!
|
|
Kirki
Eagle
Juominen on hyv?ksi sinulle!
Posts: 191
|
Post by Kirki on Aug 19, 2009 11:47:40 GMT 2
Indeed, but you know human nature tends not to like change I saw them on TV this morning haha. Too bad they weren't allowed to play their own songs and had to do a cover. Their songs were better!
|
|
Crystiannia
Clansman
"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows..."
Posts: 384
|
Post by Crystiannia on Aug 27, 2009 4:54:13 GMT 2
Just something amusing occured on the friendship front that made me think and brought me great joy! An old acquaintance from my high school days reached out to me on Facebook. Nice guy, and one of the few people who were very nice and respectful to me. He sent me a message noting that I seemed to have a lot of Viking and Norse references on my page and asked why? Well..... turns out that he is a fellow Norse Heathen/Asatru and has been since our school days! But seeing as how our fellow classmates were not the open minded sort, he never spoke of it and kept silent! I never would have guessed in a million years! I scarcely believed him at first and thought he was kidding, but very much the opposite. He's actually a heathen mentor of sorts in his community. To look back at his picture in our yearbook, one would never have thought. I as the obvious "weird one" seemed far more the heathen than this clean cute fellow! Too funny! But a bit sad as well! He lives many states away in Colorado. What is the lure of living land-locked? And as for romance.... hmmm...... I know in my head I should not look for trouble when I'm technically not a free bird as of yet... BUT... I am far too human and damn if I don't think La Belle Dame Sans Merci should be a sacred code! Have the opportunity to meet this adorable brown-eyed artisan! He creates the most beautiful leather masks of dragons and fantasy creatures -- benevolent only, so as not to taint the wearer! I think I may have developed a crush, which is not good! Or perhaps so? Still, I am torn between trying to keep things light & friendly and subtle flirtatious hints. He doesn't generally go the Ren Faire I attend in NY, but asked when I was going and if I'd like to meet up there. Think it would be far too dangerous.... ;D
|
|
Kirki
Eagle
Juominen on hyv?ksi sinulle!
Posts: 191
|
Post by Kirki on Aug 29, 2009 21:13:07 GMT 2
Here's me thinking it's hard to leave the girl and go and live in sussex...then I think of you poor Americans having the same problem in a much bigger country! Best of luck crystiannia
|
|
|
Post by ingrid on Aug 31, 2009 11:53:44 GMT 2
Let's write about love and friendship. Do you believe in love? Can there be friendship between people of different sex? Would you do it just for the sex? And all of this kind. Yes there can be friendship between people of different sex. My very best friend is male, I know about everything from him, and he knows everything from me, and we can talk with eachother about everything. But we ourselfs never kissed or whatsoever (which is a good thing). It's a real good friendship, and I would like to keep it like that for years or the rest of my life!
|
|