Post by Bartbär on Apr 26, 2010 20:50:15 GMT 2
It seems I've missed a lot on the friendship and relationship front since my absence... and failed to look at this thread upon my return.
In late reply:
Savi: I've been in those situations as well, although not very often. Some odd months ago I had a handful of "interested" women who wanted to date me, thankfully though they all lived further away and thus I didn't have to worry too much about it. As usual, I just staid single and kept talking with them as friends, being that it is possible for things to develop perhaps even over a distance. To my foresight, every single one of them ended up doing the same thing most women in the past have already done: they found a local boyfriend and with their "feelings" for me in mind, completely abandoned my friendship. I would send them messages and get no reply, until of course months later when the relationship was ended and it was once again "convenient" for them to talk to me. So you see, it is always good to wait on these things, then one can always weed out those who are genuinely interested and those who are just looking for the next fling.
With that aside though, you are indeed a very beautiful woman in my eyes, and I think you have a good head on your shoulders. Which is very clear, you denied a group of men your hand, and that alone seperates you from the majority of women I am used to. But that is a double-edged sword, as such personality tends to only attract more people to you. Then again that always depends on the person.
I've only kept a great friendship going with a handful of online friends over the years. Some of whom have had fond feelings about a relationship with me, and others who have not. And to this day those few friends are as genuine in their emotions and friendship as they were when the friendship started. I too am the same to my friends and "crushes". To this day I am still plagued by thoughts and emotions of being able to date someone or another who I've long been out of contact with. My heart is as stubborn as I am.
@ Kirki: I'm sorry to hear of the unfortunate events, but women as well as us men are odd creatures. When you were non-purposely "neglecting" her, to you personally you still knew what you felt for her, but to her it was unknown. We as humans have the eternal curse of emotion, and at the same time trying to bring logic and reasoning into that emotion (probably said this 100 times in this thread before), we want to know EVERYTHING the other person is thinking and feeling (at least I do, always been a downfall). When we don't know everything that is going through their mind, we tend to put ourself in a state of inaction towards the relationship and action somewhere else. The end result of which may not always be fruitful or positive.
None-the-less, I hope things are working once again in a positive direction for your both, whatever direction that may be! Best of luck!
@tina: That is good news indeed. HOpefully they can keep up their intoxication into the world of kick-ass music!
On my end: Friendships and relationships are continuously on a downward spiral, but I don't look on that as a negative thing. My beliefs and personality changes over the years, but the same cannot be said for a good deal of the people I know, and thus as time goes on there are frequent "falling outs". Perhaps it is just my staunch independence and isolation, but not a lot of people keep befriending me being as I am admitedly a very unreliable friend (on a local level). I don't have money to do anything, and thus never make an effort to get together with friends and have a good time. I'm also reserved in how often I can "get together and have fun". whereas most people can get together with their friends every night, I can only do it once every few months or longer. But then again, we are not necessarily talking about friendships based on deep interpersonal communication, but friendships based on "good-times" and laughs. The introvert in me can only do that so often, and sadly not a lot of people are as introverted as I am and thus never know what the fuck is going on with me. haha
On a side note though, my friendships with those closest to me (not in terms of geography of course) is always increasingly alive and well, although communication is rarely constant.
Relationships: I'm still very very happy to be single, and as more time goes on the more happy I become. I don't think that is a positive thing from a social standpoint, but for me it is a very positive thing. If you can't find anyone who can grow with you, or can't be with someone that is that person, than there is nothing wrong with growing on your own until said person comes along.
In late reply:
Savi: I've been in those situations as well, although not very often. Some odd months ago I had a handful of "interested" women who wanted to date me, thankfully though they all lived further away and thus I didn't have to worry too much about it. As usual, I just staid single and kept talking with them as friends, being that it is possible for things to develop perhaps even over a distance. To my foresight, every single one of them ended up doing the same thing most women in the past have already done: they found a local boyfriend and with their "feelings" for me in mind, completely abandoned my friendship. I would send them messages and get no reply, until of course months later when the relationship was ended and it was once again "convenient" for them to talk to me. So you see, it is always good to wait on these things, then one can always weed out those who are genuinely interested and those who are just looking for the next fling.
With that aside though, you are indeed a very beautiful woman in my eyes, and I think you have a good head on your shoulders. Which is very clear, you denied a group of men your hand, and that alone seperates you from the majority of women I am used to. But that is a double-edged sword, as such personality tends to only attract more people to you. Then again that always depends on the person.
I've only kept a great friendship going with a handful of online friends over the years. Some of whom have had fond feelings about a relationship with me, and others who have not. And to this day those few friends are as genuine in their emotions and friendship as they were when the friendship started. I too am the same to my friends and "crushes". To this day I am still plagued by thoughts and emotions of being able to date someone or another who I've long been out of contact with. My heart is as stubborn as I am.
@ Kirki: I'm sorry to hear of the unfortunate events, but women as well as us men are odd creatures. When you were non-purposely "neglecting" her, to you personally you still knew what you felt for her, but to her it was unknown. We as humans have the eternal curse of emotion, and at the same time trying to bring logic and reasoning into that emotion (probably said this 100 times in this thread before), we want to know EVERYTHING the other person is thinking and feeling (at least I do, always been a downfall). When we don't know everything that is going through their mind, we tend to put ourself in a state of inaction towards the relationship and action somewhere else. The end result of which may not always be fruitful or positive.
None-the-less, I hope things are working once again in a positive direction for your both, whatever direction that may be! Best of luck!
@tina: That is good news indeed. HOpefully they can keep up their intoxication into the world of kick-ass music!
On my end: Friendships and relationships are continuously on a downward spiral, but I don't look on that as a negative thing. My beliefs and personality changes over the years, but the same cannot be said for a good deal of the people I know, and thus as time goes on there are frequent "falling outs". Perhaps it is just my staunch independence and isolation, but not a lot of people keep befriending me being as I am admitedly a very unreliable friend (on a local level). I don't have money to do anything, and thus never make an effort to get together with friends and have a good time. I'm also reserved in how often I can "get together and have fun". whereas most people can get together with their friends every night, I can only do it once every few months or longer. But then again, we are not necessarily talking about friendships based on deep interpersonal communication, but friendships based on "good-times" and laughs. The introvert in me can only do that so often, and sadly not a lot of people are as introverted as I am and thus never know what the fuck is going on with me. haha
On a side note though, my friendships with those closest to me (not in terms of geography of course) is always increasingly alive and well, although communication is rarely constant.
Relationships: I'm still very very happy to be single, and as more time goes on the more happy I become. I don't think that is a positive thing from a social standpoint, but for me it is a very positive thing. If you can't find anyone who can grow with you, or can't be with someone that is that person, than there is nothing wrong with growing on your own until said person comes along.